The Best Heist Ever Do'hed
by The Sound of Typing
Summary: The Cooper Gang plans to rob the rich and wicked Mr.Burns.On the way to Springfield, they meet a family who is also being chased by Inspector Carmelita Fox, the Simpsons.What could possibly happen?
1. GoodBye Paris

Sly Cooper was watching the stars of Paris, France, as it would be a few days until he would see them again."Sly?" yelled a tutle. The raccoon looked down from the rooftops to see his pal."Coming, Bentley!" he yelled, leaping down towards his shelled buddy. Murray Hippo rushed over to Sly and Bentley."The Murray has got all our luggage in the van!" the pink hippo screamed, flexing his mussels.  
"Alright, guys!Here are some disguises and fake IDs," Bentley said, handing them everything they needed. Sly had gotten to be Sylvester Cannier, who wore a green baseball cape, red T-shirt, blue sweatpants with a white stripe on each side, and black and white checkered sneakers. Murray was Mike Harrison, a person who wore a green T-shirt with a gorilla on it, a blue baseball cap, and plain dark blue slip-ons. Bentley portrayed a man named Benjamin Tiffs, and wore a yellow T-shirt with LOL stitched on it in green, a white baseball cap, and silver tipped sneakers that was black all the way until the tips. Now they were ready to go to the airport."The Murray is ready to go!" yelled Murray. The Cooper gang hopped into the the van. On the way to the airport, Sly gazed into the stars and softly said to himself,"I'll see you soon Paris, France."It was always hard to say good-bye to his home when they went to other places across the globe."But what's life without saying good-bye?" he thought. Sly snickered at the thought of that. Make way Springfield!There is a new thief in town!


	2. A Family Who Is Simpsonly Disfuctional

"Homer, did you remember to bring our tickets?" asked a sky blue cat with regular blue hair that was six-feet long and a light green dress named Marge Simpson. Her husbend , a raccoon with a white T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and two black hairs combed over, thought for a second."D'oh!" he grunted, realizing he forgot their tickets. Then a blond raccoon cub with spiky hair and an orange T-shirt walked up to him."No worries, Homeboy.I've got it all under control!I've got the tickets," he said to his father.  
"Come on boy!I need those tickets!" Homer Simpson eagerly said, his hand out, ready to take them. But cub the snickered."I would, but what will I get in return?" Bart asked.  
"This piece of paper, stick, and rubber band!" Homer screamed, getting out the items from his pockets. At first, Bart rolled his eyes, but then thought a little."Deal!" he shouted. Lisa , a blond cat with a raccoon tail and a star shaped hair style, observed Bart. He was up to something."What are you going to do, Bart?" she asked in an annoyed voice.  
"Nothing!Maggie is doing something!Why don't you ask what she's doing?" Bart shouted at his sister, pointing to their baby sister, who was climbing in their mother's thick strong hair. Maggie , was almost a splitting image of Lisa, but was a baby and always had a pacifier in her mouth all the time. Lisa kept her eyes on Bart like a hawk.

The Simpson family walked up to security gates. Bart made the items Homer gave him into a sling shot. He give it a test drive and found a target. Bulls-eye!The blond raccoon hit his target, but then remembered something."Eep!" he shouted.  
"YOU!" yipped a certain fox."You're not getting away this time!"  
"Bart?What did you do this time?" Marge asked.  
"The usual," Bart replied.  
"Your son, ma'am, vandalised the walls of Paris!" Inspector Carmelita Fox yelled.  
"Look Sly Cooper!" screamed Lisa, pointing to a gift shop. Inspector Fox turned around, but there was only a trash can."Run!" Lisa yelled and the Simpsons ran. Miss Fox chased them down, but she couldn't catch them. But Carmelita _did_ catch a ride on their plane.


	3. The Thief Who Do'hed

The Simpson family looked around for somewhere to sit. Marge and her daughters, found two seats and sat near a nerdy turtle. Homer and Bart searched for a seat, pushing, and shoving people in their way. They found two seats. "I'm Bart the hell are you?" Bart asked to the man next to him.  
"BART!"yelled Homer. The raccoon next to them starred at the two, analyzing them."It's Bart , is it?I'm Sl-Sylvester Cannier," said the man. But the blond raccoon cub snickered. "Who are you really?" he surprisingly asked. This man's jaw and chocolate eyes opened wider than an elephant."So who are you?" Bart repeated , looking at his fingers. The raccoon looked into the kid's eyes."You've got me beat, Bart," said the grey raccoon and got close to Bart's ear and whispered,"I'm Sly Cooper."  
"Holy molly!"  
"Shh!Inspector Fox might be here!"  
"You mean the fox chick with the temper?"  
"That's the one!"  
"Hey!I'm being hunted by her, too!"  
"What?"  
"This raccoon is devious!"  
"And I'm thevius!" Sly whispered. Homer blankly looked at Sly."So your Superman?" he asked. Sly sighed and explained who he was to Homer."Why do you want to go to Springfield?Oh!You gonna steal my T.V.!HELP POLICE!" screamed Homer, idioticly. Bart slapped his hand over the mouth of Homer. Homer choked his son and yelled,"Why you little!"  
" This is going to be a long ride,"Sly said to himself.


	4. Springing Into Springfield

"Spades!" Bart yelled as he put an eight of clubs down on the the pullout and Homer grinded their had anything but spades!Both of them picked up what seemed to be a million cards untill the could get at least one spade!Homer strangled his son once again and shouted,"Why you little!Don't you aren't allowed to make me lose!"The grey racoon rolled his chocolate eyes."Oh brother,"Sly mumbled to himself. Bart choked his father once his hands were close to the oaf's fat neck."HELP!POLICE!" Bart managed to shout, while Homer still had his hands around the boy's neck. Sly's eyes went wide."Sly Cooper!And Bentley and Murray!Even that trouble making family!Surley Barkley will give me a raise!Mabe even a promotion!" yipped the did his signature grin."Inspector Fox! Nice to see 's up?Were you missing me when you thought I was still stuck in Paris?" Sly asked, while the Cooper Gang and the Simpsons strolled away. Carmelita's eyes squinted at Sly."If you don't mind, ringtail, I was chasing down a troublesome family and on a mission I was appointed to!And no, I didn't even have a single thought about you!" she snapped.

"Well, let's give this crowd a show!Don't you think the movie that's on is a little boring?" Sly said. The passengers did think this was some sort of entertainment. So they yipped, cheered, and clapped for this, because they truely thought the movie was extremely boring.

Inspector Fox was thinking of a way to catch Sly, but not harm anyone, either."Why, Sly, you're looking...handsome. Why don't you come closer?" she asked, smiling.  
"Sure!" he said, geting closer to her knowing, what she had up her sleave, but he had a few tricks up his sleave, aswell. Carmelita puckered her lips close to Sly's, hands ready to swipe out her key and handcuffs. But Sly was quicker and swiped them first, but still gave her the kiss. Miss Fox blushed and gazed into space for a moment, but then was cought back into reality and tried to rush after him, but she was handcuffed to a chair."I'll get you Cooper!" she screached at the devious thievous raccoonus. Then crowd cheered at this, still thinking this was an act.

"One, two, three, jump!" yelled Sly, as everyone leaped off the plane. Thank goodness there was plenty of paragliders in Sly's bag for the whole group. He could still hear Carmelita's 'beautiful' screams of his name."This reminds me of my grandpa's greatest heist!Exept we didn't take any money," Sly said, recalling his Grandpa Dan.  
"Why the hell am I falling down faster?" screached Homer.  
"You're heavier, so-" Bentley tried to say.  
"I'm not fat!My clothes are just small for me!So that's why I 'seem' sort of plump," Homer informed everyone. The whole group was almost touching Springfield's dried up dead grass. In a few secounds, they finaly landed in Springfield, U.S.A.!"Thank goodness I use extra extra extra extra extra strong hair spray!The wind was flapping my hair here and there!" remarked Marge.  
"Sly, four-eyes, buff guy!You're wecomed to stay with us since you saved us!" shouted Homer.  
"Thank you, Homer!" said Bentley, shacking the racoon oaf's left paw.  
"Who are you, again?" asked Homer. Bentley slapped himself in the face and sighed.


	5. Getting Burnsed By a Vixen

"Smithers!The toast is too heavy!" screeched . His brown tabby short-hair cat assistant rushed into the room."What, sir?" he asked. The elderly fox starred at him with displeasure, as he never liked to repeat himself."You nincompoop!I say this toast is too heavy!Why don't you ever listen!" he snapped . But the fact was, Smithers always did listen to him."I'll fix that, sir," Smithers said, cutting the half pieces of toast into more tinier pieces. The boss picked up one of the pieces of toast and nibbled on it. "Good Smithers!Now...Dust my collection of various eyeballs!" he commanded.  
"Yes, sir!" Smithers shouted, walking to the door of the room. His eyes met with a vixen, who seemed too enraged to say a word to.

Inspector Fox walked around his assistant."Who the dickens are you?Smithers, have this women kicked out, immediately!" Burns yipped at Smithers. Carmelita gave Smithers a mean glare as if trying to tell him,"Do you really think that's a wise choice?" Smithers just stepped a few steps away from this angry vixen."I thought so," she whispered to the frightened assistant. She walked to the old fox, stepping away from his trapped door."What the dickens?How did you know I kept a trapped door there?" he screeched.

"I took notes watching you on the tapes!" she remarked.  
"Tapes?Smithers you fool!Why did you sell the security tapes of the plant?" shouted Mr. Burns. The vixen looked at the old man, then to Smithers, who opened his mouth, but yet did not even make a noise."The tapes I watched were taped by Interpol! I'm Inspector Carmelita Fox. I'm here on account of you," she said, with something in her eyes. It was something she was not telling the old fox."Why?"he simply asked.  
"I am not allowed to say why, but I can tell you I will be inspecting your house several times. I stand in front of you saying this because I do not care to be chased by your hounds," Carmelita remarked. Burns squinted his eyes at this vixen."Tell me why!"  
"I can't!"  
"Yes you can!"  
"No I can't!"  
"Really?"  
"Yes!"  
"See!You said you could!"  
"Err!This is conversation is over!" yipped Inspector Fox. The two foxes starred at the other. Miss Fox then said,"I shall come down to your mansion tonight."  
"Be there by eight o'clock."  
"Six!"  
"Eight!"  
"Seven!"  
"Eight!"  
"I'll be over by seven thirty, and that's final!I'm leaving!" she shouted.

Miss Fox strolled over to the door, but stopped in front of the assistant."How can you work for this guy?" she whispered to him.  
"Once one gets to know better, that one person will just love him...As a boss!"he replied to her. Carmelita didn't get what he meant and thought, but she gave up after awhile and shrugged. When the door behind the vixen closed, told Smithers with a sigh,"Smithers, I think I'm in love!"  
"What?"  
"That inspector, oh that inspector!There is something about her that puts a spring in my step!"  
"Maybe it's just because she is of the same species and you only think your in love!"  
"No, Smithers. That women could argue almost as good as I!Plus her beauty!Oh my!She seemed to be crafted by the world's greatest artists!No one could take that kind of beauty for granted!"  
"Errmmm..."  
"If I married her, the plant proudly would never be shut down!"  
"Marry her!But, sir, she doesn't seem like your type!"  
"What was that Smithers?I was having a day dream that Carmelita and me flying across the heavens, holding her hand. Smithers, have you ever had a day dream like that?"  
"Have you been reading my dairy, sir?" the tabby cat said to the elderly fox.


	6. Boggling Up A Plan

Inside the Simpson house, there was a game of Boggle going on. Only a minute to go before every grain of sand landed in the bottom of the hour glass. Bentley and Lisa seemed to always be scratching down words. Homer, Bart, and Murray had struggled to find words, but managed to write down a few simple words. For Marge, she had to think awhile in order for her to find some interesting words scrambled in there. Sly had his mind on something else at the time, but he did find a few words to put on his paper. As the last grain slowly fell, everyone was scribbling on their paper madly. "Ok everyone, the hour glass is finished. Put down your pencils and let's hear what you've written down," Marge said, sounding like a teacher and glancing at everyone so she knew no one was cheating by scratching down more words.

"Can I go first, mom?" Lisa asked her mother.

"Sure, sweetie. What have you written?"

"Alright, I've written the following words."

"Boring," Bart rudely remarked.

"As I was saying, I've written down the following words. Spectacular, frightful, harmless, writer, written, perfect, soda, computer, friends, and intelligent. "Everyone starred at her with shocked faces. Lisa grinned, as she loved to be a show off with her intelligents. But Bentley walked over to see her paper and surprisingly stated," I wrote the same exact words! None more nor less. "This shattered Lisa's heart. She wondered how they wrote down the same words. Was he just as smart as her? "B-but, that's not possible! There is only one in nine million two hundred fifty-two thousand two hundred and forty-six chances that we wrote the same words in Boggle!" she screamed.

"Well, this is the one out of whatever you said, "Sly told her, grinning

"Too much info! More beer!" her father screeched. Both geniuses sighed at Homer. "What did you put down, Homer?" Marge asked her dimwitted husband.

"Um…I wrote beer, beers, beard, drink, and drinking!" he yelled with a joyful smile on. Once again, Bentley and Lisa sighed at Homer's intelligence. "Oh. Ok now my turn to tell!" Marge said gleefully. "I put down cat, with, green, dress, and, blue, six, feet, long, and hair!" Marge yelled. "Ok your turn, Murray!" The hippo starred at his words for a brief moment. "Well, the Murray has written this! Van, strong, and cool!" he shouted, flexing his muscles.

"Alright… You go on and read what you wrote, Sly," Marge insisted. Sly cleared his throat and told the group. "Ok. The words I saw upon the board was sly, loves, inspector, and fox. "Everyone, but Lisa and Bentley, thought what he said he to be perfectly normal and did not mean anything. The two brains starred at the other and thought, "_Sly loves Inspector Fox_?"But, they soon forgot and starred at Bart. "Why the hell is everyone looking at me!" screamed Bart.

"Bart!" his mother yelled and then said, "Well it's your turn, Bart."

"Well I am a genius and found a really good word! Kwyjibo!" Bart yelled.

"That's not a word!" Bentley snapped.

"Of course it is! It means, uh...a big, dumb, balding North American ape, with no chin!"

"And a short temper!" Marge added.

"Err! Why you little!" Homer screamed, choking his son once again. This game ended with Lisa and Bentley winning the game with a tie.

Later in the night, Lisa decided to see what Bentley was up to. The turtle was looking over papers and drawing something with a red pen. "What are you doing?" she asked the turtle.

"I'm working."

"You mean you're planning to steal something."

"Uh, yeah."

"Can I see?"

"Why not?" Bentley remarked. Lisa looked over his plans. "You're planning to steal from Mr. Burns? Makes sense, but he has hounds that enjoy ripping people into pieces. And there are cameras there. Plus there is a secret laboratory there."

"How do you?"

"Well, I've been at his mansion a couple of times and once my family stayed there to take care of it while he was gone," Lisa stated. "Oh and that room is there not here." The two stayed up almost all night long to plan the heist at Burns's mansion. Finally they could both talk to someone with their knowledge!


	7. Two Foxes Of A Fur

Chapter 7

"Inspector Fox is here, sir," Smithers said with much displeasure. Mr. Burns stroked his fur quick with his brush. "So, Smithers, how do I look?" Mr. Burns asked.

"Like the star on top of a Christmas tree!" Smithers squealed. Carmelita strolled in the mansion. "Why, hello Inspector. You look dashing this evening!" Mr. Burns remarked, getting close to the vixen.

"T-thanks, I think," she said, confused at the way Mr. Burns acted.

"Smithers, show Miss Fox to the dining room," Mr. Burns commanded to Smithers, not looking away from the vixen. Smithers toke her to the dining room as Mr. Burns 'asked'. He gave her a mean glare. "What's wrong?" she asked him.

"Nothing."

"Surly there is a reason for you're giving me that glare."

But all he did was make a low hissing noise. He was like trying to open a safe! Sly could try crack open this safe. Then she would chase him down, trying to get the information back to Smither's head safe. This thought made Carmelita smile and laugh a bit. Then there was sudden pain in her right foot. That brown tabby stepped on her foot! She jumped and let out a yip of pain." Sorry! It was an accident. I was just walking to the kitchen to fix up dinner_," _he lied and walked away. "_Was it the way I acted to Smithers at the plant that made him hate me? Or is it about something else?" _she thought. Either way, she wanted to not be hated. "Hello, Carmelita," Mr. Burns said, walking to a chair and siting down. "Please, have dinner with me."

"Sure," Miss Fox said, stomach talking. Smithers then walked in, bringing in their dinner.

While munching on their cod, Mr. Burns started to speak. "You know Miss Fox, we are much alike."

"I don't see a-."

"We are both foxes. We both are dandy arguers. We both are good looking. We are both powerful people. We are both alike."

"I guess so."

"We are two foxes of a fur."

"Ok…" Carmelita said, feeling uncomfortable. Then Smithers started to make that low hissing sound again. But Mr. Burns didn't seem to hear him. "_Well, this is going to be a long night,"_ Carmelita thought.


	8. Secrets Are Sealed Inside The Mona Lisa

Chapter 8

Carmelita strolled through one of the many hall ways in the mansion. She had to find what she was looking for. Buzz! Buzz! It was her cellphone. "Hello. Inspector Fox here."

"Have you found the Mona Lisa?"

"Not yet, Barkley. I'm just getting to that. There is too much paintings here!"

"A man could only buy so many paintings!"

"Or steal them. By the way, he acts strange. Any records on that?"

"Well, no. He is described as a horrible evil man. His nuclear plant is highly unsafe. He is major suspect in hundreds of other cases as well."

"Strange, he acts so nice in a creepy way to me."

"Just go with the act, inspector."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

"Where is that painting?" Inspector Fox complained. Then she was tripped by something. Fortunately, the fox's fall gave her minor bruises. She swirled her head to see what tripped her. It was Smithers! The vixen jumped up to her feet. "What's with you?" she yipped at him.

"What is it, Inspector Fox? I just came in."

"And then you tripped me! Is it because I'm a dog and you're a cat?"

"No."

"Tell me!" she yelled, withdrawing her shock pistol. It was pointed straight at him! Carmelita had enough of his excuses. She demanded answers now! Smithers had his mouth opened, but yet nothing came out of it. "Oh, and don't lie unless you want to get electrocuted!"

"It's too personal. I can't."

"I know a raccoon whose parents were murdered right in front of his face! He can face telling it in public!"

"My father died before I was two!"

"I-I'm sorry. I just-."

"Well, that isn't why I hate you," he stated, strolling off. _"So there is more about him than meets the eye. I want to learn more about this strange tabby after I find the Mona Lisa," _ Carmelita noted to herself.

There was no trace of the Mona Lisa in the fox's sight. _"If I were an evil rich old man, where would I put one of the world's greatest painting? Ok, first I would think of it as another piece of work that makes me look like a king. Then, since it's so valuable, I would keep it close to me. Think Carmelita! Put one and two together and-Yes! In my bedroom!"_ the vixen thought. She rushed to the room, which she saw while strolling through the halls. There, Carmelita gazed over the room. Red velvet curtains, the hugest bed anyone has ever seen, plants planted around the place, art everywhere, and-. "The Mona Lisa! Yes! Mission complete!" the inspector idiotically spat out. Suddenly, the doors shut, the curtains softly swayed, making Carmelita bring up her pistol. "Who are you? Show yourself and freeze! Come on! Cooper? Smithers?" There was no answer. Then paws grabbed her. The vixen struggled to get out of the hands of this devil. She looked at the man. "Why, it's-!"


	9. Squishes And Duff We Steal!

Chapter 9

"HOMER AND SLY!NO THANK YOU!COME HERE AGAIN WHEN THE COPS ARE HERE!" yelled a furious opossum, shaking his paw at two raccoons. The two were snickering at him. Their crime had only happened minutes ago.

"Yum…Donuts…Uuuugggghhhh…" Homer said, making a flood with his drool. Apu, the operator of the Kwik-E-Mart, rolled his eyes at the oaf. "Please Mr. Homer, pick something!" he screeched. Then Sly, who seemed to pop out of nowhere, remarked, "Hi! Names Sly Simpson!" He shook the opossum's hand. Sly had his signature grin on. "Do I know you?" Apu asked, not quite placing the face in front him.

"Oh, I just have one of those faces. Or at least that's what people tell me," he replied to him. "Homer and I were just so hungry, we had to come here for a snack!" Homer nodded, then kept gazing at the 'majestic' donuts. "Me want donuts!" Homer shouted. But then Sly nudged him with his elbow. "Uh, what I meant to say was, what kind of beers do you have?"

"Well, we have Duff, Duff 2.0, Duff 3.0, Du-,"Apu recalled.

"No, I…uh, need you to…show me your beer!" exclaimed Homer.

"But you know where our beer is."

"Just shut up and show me the beer!" Homer yipped. The opossum sighed and walked him over to the aisle with beer. Sly went into action. He snatched some squishies from the machine it was stored in. After that, he started grabbing candy and donuts. The raccoon even grabbed a Radioactive Man comic for Bart. All of this was hidden in his bag. "Now are you going to buy something!" screamed Apu, who felt like tearing out his hair at the moment.

"Can I see the donuts, again?" Homer pleaded.

"Whatever," Apu said, not caring a bit anymore. This was Sly's queue to get going. So he quickly grabbed two cases of fresh cold Duff Beer, and then scampered off into the parking lot. "I better get, uh, goating. I mean going!" Homer screeched, rushing off into the parking lot as well.

"Thank you! Come a-Wait!" shouted Apu, seeing Sly at the corner of his eye. And so begins where we started.

"So, how do like stealing, trainee!" Sly asked.

"There is too much thinking and running!" Homer remarked. Sly pushed Homer into an alley, where they could hide at. "Alright! I'm going to teach you a super sneaky thief move!" Sly said, turning pages of the_Theivous Raccoonous_. He shoved the book into Homer's hands. "What the hell is this? A Harry Potter book?" he yipped. Sly pointed at a section of the book and told Homer ,"Do as this part says!" and disappeared. The oaf did as he was told and he too disappeared.

After a long period of time, they reappeared into the world. "What just happened?" Homer squeaked.

"We used Slytankhamen's invisible technique."

"Oh….POLICE!" Homer started to cry. But Sly covered his mouth. "Homer, what am I to do with you?"

"Give me the biggest donut in the world?" The thief slapped himself in the face and sighed.


End file.
